


Some Days

by Mom_Friend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depressed Lance (Voltron), Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, Team as Family, super old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 05:13:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16758607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Friend/pseuds/Mom_Friend
Summary: Some days are harder than others, Lance knows this. It doesn't make it any easier.





	Some Days

**Author's Note:**

> heyoooooo this is the first langst i ever wrote way back when! honestly it's been so long but i figured i should consolidate it all. and maybe someone out there can identify with this. Trigger warnings for referenced self harm and suicidal thoughts. Please don't read this if you aren't or can't be in a safe headspace for it! Stay safe, love y'all

Some days Lance just wanted to delete himself off everything. Every fat tear that rolled down his face as he sat curled up on his bed in the corner of his room drained a bit of the ceaselessly overflowing well of self loathing that sat within him. Even though he knew, on his good days, that his team needed him. That they loved him. The bad days, which were becoming far more frequent, those precious bits of knowledge seemed to be little more than shallow, worthless lies. Obviously they don't need him! How could they when the closest thing he had to a family out there in the void of space did little beside disregard him when he got to be too annoying. In a better state of mind, he’d know that everything that he was telling himself wasn't true. His team was always there for him when it counts. But then, why don't his feelings count? Why is it ok to make fun of him? They don't need him. He's just a loudmouthed boy from cuba. A seventh wheel. A placeholder until someone better, someone with a thing, someone who could keep up in the simulator and bond with the others better and fit his gorgeous lady Blue far better than he ever could arrives. 

Some days he wants to destroy his record for being clean and slash his arms just to watch the bright scarlet ooze and spread against his dusty skin. If he could do that it would be better, he’d finally have a way to punish himself for all the times he's fucked up. With the new gashes just as the blood spilled out so would all of the guilt he felt for never being good enough, for never being worth the effort to talk to. He could let spill all of the pain of knowing just how goddamn useless he always was, how weak he was. If he couldn't even protect himself from his own mind how could he protect his teammates, his family, much less the entire universe.

Some days Lance wanted to finally go through with what he’d thought about so many times before, both on earth and in space. The universe would be so much better off without him! He could finally be useful, he could jumpstart the arrival of the real blue paladin. It's not like anyone would miss him anyway. Maybe his six crewmates would be sad for a little while because they’re such nice people, but really he knows they all wished they had never met him. It's ok, if he could avoid himself he would too! He was useless. It was unavoidable and it hurt. Maybe he really should..

Some days Lance would walk into the dining room and sit down with breakfast goo only to be bombarded with questions on how he felt and promises of group cuddling and vent sessions the second he was done with his food. Those days, one way or another he’d end up in a ginormous cuddle pile. And once he was there, the group spa treatments were sure to follow promptly. Those days he reminded himself that nothing he thought on those days were accurate. He was reminded of why he continued to keep up his clean streak. He was reminded that he was needed, appreciated, and loved.


End file.
